Happy Valentine's Day to all of you listeners who love others, love yourselves, or just depressively masturbate the pain away. Whatever your situation, let us briefly take an hour to distract you from the pain of every day life by hanging with your 4 virtual friends who totally like you but only as a friend. Please don't get the wrong idea. Except for you, Beau. We all love you simultaneously, passionately, yet gently.
Do you ever feel as though we don't give you that same love? Well if you donate to our Patreon, we'll love you harder. And maybe that comes off a little like prostitution, but much like porn, if there's a camera/microphones in the room then it's actually art and totally not prostitution. We worked with top lawyers on that to make sure.
Anyways, here are the questions to expect this week.
1) Modern theories suggest there may be an infinite number of parallel universes all containing their own alternate reality. So every possible reality exists in some other universe. With that said, which alternate reality of our podcast is the strangest?
2) What are some good ways to fuck with your coworkers?
3) What can be improved by slapping the "barely legal" label on it?
4) What would professional institutions be like if they were suddenly taken over by Disney?
Now if you've been with us either physically or just audibly, you know that we have a voicemail line that is spammed throughout the website. But just in case you missed it. (815) 905-1138.
We use that voicemail line for anything. You can call in and spit. We'll play every message that comes through that machine. If you'd prefer to leave a message with your question, that's awesome too. If you want to tell us to individually fuck ourselves, we encourage it! If you have a sweet deal on Rayban's sunglasses, fuckin' tell us about it!
Either way, we love your participation. Submit a question through the website so you can be part of our next listener episode, or just continue to be a weird lurking piece of crap. See you all again on 2/28!
Your questions, answered.
What is the worst advice to give someone on their first date?
What accents would animals have if they could talk?
The guys take the Cube Test.
What is the best way to exit an awkward situation?
What would it be like if the Grinch tried to steal other holidays?
Review of Barnett's Mega Sours candy
We answer important questions, but more of them, faster.
What is the evolutionary advantage of being ticklish?
What is the best use of $1 in current year?
If Steven Hawking is so smart, how come he is dead?
What would be the worst guard animal?
Haggis food review.
What is the least amount of money we would accept to have no hygiene upkeep for 3 months?
The show where we decide just how low we'll go...
What is the least amount of money we would accept to suck a tapeworm from a cat's anus?